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A thought experiment: Imagine how people might react if Taylor Swift released an album made up entirely of songs about wishing she could get back together with one of her exes.

We’d hear things like: “She can’t let go. She’s clingy. She’s irrational. She’s crazy.” Men would have a field day comparing her to their own “crazy” exes.

Yet when Robin Thicke released “Paula” – a plea for reconciliation with his ex-wife Paula Patton disguised as an LP — he was called incoherent, obsessed, heartfelt and, in particular, creepy.

But you didn’t hear men calling him “crazy” — even though he used it as the title of one of tracks.

No, “crazy” is typically held in reserve for women’s behavior. Men might be obsessed, driven, confused or upset. But we don’t get called “crazy” — at least not the way men reflexively label women as such.

“Crazy” is one of the five deadly words guys use to shame women into compliance. The others: Fat. Ugly. Slutty. Bitchy. They sum up the supposedly worst things a woman can be.

WHAT WE REALLY MEAN BY “CRAZY” IS: “SHE WAS UPSET, AND I DIDN’T WANT HER TO BE.”

“Crazy” is such a convenient word for men, perpetuating our sense of superiority. Men are logical; women are emotional. Emotion is the antithesis of logic. When women are too emotional, we say they are being irrational. Crazy. Wrong.

Women hear it all the time from men. “You’re overreacting,” we tell them. “Don’t worry about it so much, you’re over-thinking it.” “Don’t be so sensitive.” “Don’t be crazy.” It’s a form of gaslighting — telling women that their feelings are just wrong, that they don’t have the right to feel the way that they do. Minimizing somebody else’s feelings is a way of controlling them. If they no longer trust their own feelings and instincts, they come to rely on someone else to tell them how they’re supposed to feel.

Small wonder that abusers love to use this c-word. It’s a way of delegitimizing a woman’s authority over her own life.

Most men (#notallmen, #irony) aren’t abusers, but far too many of us reflexively call women crazy without thinking about it. We talk about how “crazy girl sex” is the best sex while we also warn men “don’t stick it in the crazy.” How I Met Your Mother warned us to watch out for “the crazy eyes” and how to process women on the “Crazy/Hot” scale. When we talk about why we broke up with our exes, we say, “She got crazy,” and our guy friends nod sagely, as if that explains everything.


Except what we’re really saying is: “She was upset, and I didn’t want her to be.”

Many men are socialized to be disconnected from our emotions — the only manly feelings we’re supposed to show are stoic silence or anger. We’re taught that to be emotional is to be feminine. As a result, we barely have a handle on our own emotions — meaning that we’re especially ill-equipped at dealing with someone else’s.

That’s where “crazy” comes in. It’s the all-purpose argument ender. Your girlfriend is upset that you didn’t call when you were going to be late? She’s being irrational. She wants you to spend time with her instead of out with the guys again? She’s being clingy. Your wife doesn’t like the long hours you’re spending with your attractive co-worker? She’s being oversensitive.

As soon as the “crazy” card is in play, women are put on the defensive. It derails the discussion from what she’s saying to how she’s saying it. We insist that someone can’t be emotional and rational at the same time, so she has to prove that she’s not being irrational. Anything she says to the contrary can just be used as evidence against her.

More often than not, I suspect, most men don’t realize what we’re saying when we call a woman crazy. Not only does it stigmatize people who have legitimate mental health issues, but it tells women that they don’t understand their own emotions, that their very real concerns and issues are secondary to men’s comfort. And it absolves men from having to take responsibility for how we make others feel.

In the professional world, we’ve had debates over labels like “bossy” and “brusque,” so often used to describe women, not men. In our interpersonal relationships and conversations, “crazy” is the adjective that needs to go.

—Men really need to stop calling women crazy - Harris O’Malley  (via quentintortellini)

(Source: Washington Post)

4 hours ago 6,198 notes VIA SOURCE

mulled-cider:

(Source: oisaeu)

4 hours ago 184,993 notes VIA SOURCE

futuredudeman:

cassbuttmcgee:

radiogrimshaw:

have you ever met someone who is like the human version of period cramps

image

I think this is the first time something has conveyed to me with true clarity just how bad period cramps are.

(Source: michaelgclifford)

4 hours ago 335,357 notes VIA SOURCE

edwardspoonhands:

youve-got-your-love-online:

Okay so I don’t understand this part. He was already signing 150,000 copies, and then just for this video he signed SO MANY MORE signatures just to make this shot!? REALLY JOHN!?

Dedication.

8 hours ago 4,321 notes VIA SOURCE

wonderstay:

7 time grammy winner taylor swift everyone

8 hours ago 1,850 notes VIA SOURCE

conorayne:

josiephone:

alwaysactually:

lusilly:

some muggleborn like “i want to be an astronaut when i grow up!”

wizard kids like “wtf is an astronaut”

"oh you know…the people who go to the moon"

implying that magical children would know literally nothing outside of the wizarding worldimage

image

10 hours ago 77,449 notes VIA SOURCE

willow-wanderings:

thebicker:

^^^^^HOW PRIVILEGE WORKS.

YES THIS IS EXACTLY IT.

(Source: supermans)

15 hours ago 187,205 notes VIA SOURCE

a-dur:

onefitmodel:

realising that we’re almost halfway through the year 2013 and i have literally achieved nothing 

image

realising that you’re reading this almost halfway through 2014 and still haven’t achieved anything

image

15 hours ago 372,345 notes VIA SOURCE

merster98:

avatargrimes:

systemofadowny:

forsciencejohn:

love-megz:

annetdonahue:

The importance of consent: a narrative.

I will forever reblog this gifset.

look at how badass she is though i mean some of it gets on her too and doesn’t even give a fuck

She pours hot liquid on her own leg she’s that badass.

fire cannot kill a dragon.

that last comment omg

(Source: misstanwyck)

1 day ago 1,179,581 notes VIA SOURCE

voice acting vs. final version of the movie

mandy moore voicing rapunzel

chris pine voicing jack frost

jay baruchel voicing hiccup

kelly macdonald voicing merida

(Source: merida-straighthair)

1 day ago 82,883 notes VIA SOURCE

tinalikesbutts:

OH NO

WHATEVER SHALL I DO

1 day ago 43,785 notes VIA SOURCE

birdluvr1993:

masculinity is so funny to me bc men deprive themselves of the best things in life in order to achieve it like ….fuzzy socks, fun fruity pink drinks, spa days, lifetime movies,  expressing positive feelings in a healthy way, being a warm genuine person

1 day ago 53,385 notes VIA SOURCE

edwardspoonhands:

satancigarettes:

The vlog brothers URLs suck

image

1 day ago 4,826 notes VIA SOURCE

(Source: zrinkacvitesic)

1 day ago 24,759 notes VIA SOURCE

three-green-aliens:

PETITION FOR DISNEY STORES TO CARRY ADULT SIZED PRINCESS DRESSES CAUSE I MAY BE 20 YRS OLD BUT IF I WANT TO WALK AROUND LOOKIN LIKE SNOW WHITE I DAMN WELL WILL

1 day ago 84,392 notes VIA SOURCE